Letter to an Acquaintance

 
Dear XXX:

After receiving your email (titled: You Stretch Me), I thought it was important to respond. You mentioned you valued my sincerity. I want to be sincere with you now.

You are right. It has been 15 years. That is a very long time and much changes. I did come out as gay. Then, I did move to San Francisco, not because I was gay but because I wanted to get out of Minnesota and the crushing winters and buggy summers. Then, I realized I was queer and came out again. I was engaged to a woman. I am now married to a man.

There are a couple of other things I want to clear up.

First, my moving to San Francisco and not staying connected to old friends had little to do with any one person. I did not just disappear. I moved and in doing so lost connections with old friends, even really close ones.

Second, it is not a miracle I survived, and I don't believe someone is watching out for me. If someone was watching out for me, they never would have let the abuse happen to me while I was in the seminary, what should be one of the holiest places. I survived because of my fortitude and strength and because of the support of the queer and youth worker communities and my family.

Third, my father has no obligation to keep anyone up to speed about my life. If you want to know more about me, ask me.

As you mentioned, you read my blog. It is my intention to be as open about my life and experiences as possible. Your email showed me I might not actually be as clear as I intend. So I am publishing this response on my blog in hopes that it may bring clarity to readers that may have similar sentiments as you. I will make sure to remove your name.

It is good to know you are doing well and have two beautiful daughters. You look happy. Congratulations on your marriage, and I look forward to continued exchanges.

Peace,
Jason Wyman

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